ASK:

• Who would you say I am? (Ideally, pose the question about yourself. Alternatively, consider a person well known to your students).

Students should briefly describe the characteristics of the chosen person's identity. As they do so, try to group them into the following categories::

1. Nationality/ethnicity/gender

2. Personal qualities — things that describe the kind of person you are

3. Values — the things you feel are important to the way that you live

4. Events that have shaped me — key things that have had an impact on your life

5. Purpose — the thing(s) that make you feel fulfilled, your reason for being

Note: There will likely be much overlap between the elements shown above, and students will probably focus on physical characteristics rather than deeper elements that contribute to identity. Try to draw examples for some categories (e.g. 1 and 2) and then reveal some things they probably won't know (e.g. 4).

Points 3 and 5 are covered in more detail during the next activity.

Using Worksheet 9A, pupils should now complete sections 1 (nationality/ethinicity/gender), 2 (personal qualities/characteristics) and 4 (personal hopes and aspirations) for themselves.

EXPLAIN:

We will take a closer look at one of the factors that make up our identity, our values. As human beings, we are hard-wired to avoid discomfort. This programming was an important survival strategy during pre-modern times as it helped us avoid danger, serious injury and death. However, this same instinct can now sabotage us, preventing us from following the values we hold dear as a modern society and what is consistent with who we want to be as individuals.

Today, our values can be thought of as the standards that we set for ourselves, and these, in turn, govern how we choose our emotions, beliefs and actions. Let's find some examples from Ella's Story to try to illustrate different sets of values.

Task students to spend five minutes finding scenes from the story that they think demonstrate the characters' values. Remind them that values are the things that are important to the way that you live your life.

For example:

• P.53 - in the coffee shop, Ella and Leah are talking. Leah comments on Ella's difficult situation at home, saying, "Mine was the same but I got out and so will you." This comment might demonstrate a strong sense of being independent and living your own life, which could be an essential value for Leah.

• P.90 - in the park, Samira confronts Ella about how she has been acting, particularly how she treated their friend, Kwan. The fact that Samira challenges Ella's behaviour because of how this affects another demonstrates that fairness is perhaps an essential value to her, as is speaking up about it, even if that is uncomfortable.

Allow students 10 minutes to find examples from the story that demonstrate values displayed by the characters. Then, facilitate a discussion about their findings. Try to bring out how the characters' values shape how those characters behave or react to situations. Also, try to make links to positive and negative values and their resulting behaviours.

For example:

• Positive values include - Honesty, innovation, vulnerability, standing up for self/others, self-respect, curiosity, charity, humility, creativity.

These are all things that are internally achieved.

• Negative values include - Dominance through manipulation/violence, feeling good all the time, always being the centre of attention, not being alone, being liked by everyone.

These tend to be externally valued or validated.

EXPLAIN:

When we define our values, we discover what's truly important to us. An excellent way to start doing this is to reflect on your life – identifying when you felt really great and confident that you were making good choices. We are now going to think about our own values and help each other define us and our sense of purpose.

Step 1: Identify the times when you were happiest

Try to include examples from different parts of your life, e.g. sporting or academic achievements, home life, friends and hobbies.

• What were you doing?

• Were you with other people? Who?

• What other factors contributed to your happiness?

Step 2: Identify the times when you were most proud

• Why were you proud?

• Did other people share your pride? Who?

• What other factors contributed to your feelings of pride?

Step 3: Identify the times when you felt most fulfilled and satisfied

• What need or desire was fulfilled? (think back to the previous work we did on basic human needs?

• How and why did the experience give your life meaning?

• What other factors contributed to your feelings of fulfilment?

Step 4: Determine your top values based on your experiences of happiness, pride, and fulfilment

Why is each experience significant and memorable? Use the list of common personal values provided to help you get started – and aim for about 10 top values. (As you work through, you may find that some of these naturally combine. For instance, if you value philanthropy, community, and generosity, you might say that service to others is one of your top values.)

Step 5: Prioritise your top values

This step is probably the most difficult because you'll have to look deep inside yourself. It's also the most crucial step because, when making a decision, you'll have to choose between solutions that may satisfy different values. Doing so will help you know which value is more important to you.

• Write down your top values, not in any particular order.

• Look at the first two values and ask yourself, "If I could satisfy only one of these, which would I choose?" It might help to visualise a situation in which you would have to make that choice. For example, imagine you were comparing the two values of service and stability. You must decide whether to completely move your life to another country to do valuable foreign aid work or stay where you currently live and volunteer to do charity work closer to home.

• Keep working through the list by comparing each value until your list is in the correct order. It's often helpful to think of values under the following categories:

• family

• education

• morals

• community

• career

• friendships

• health

• finances

• recreation

Step 6: Reaffirm your values

Check your top-priority values, and make sure that they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.

• Do these values make you feel good about yourself?

• Are you proud of your top three values?

• Would you be comfortable and proud to tell your values to people you respect and admire?

• Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice isn't popular, and it puts you in the minority?

Working individually, students should take 5-10 minutes to work through steps 1-3, using Worksheet 9b (which includes a list of values to help them get started). Then, working in groups of 3, they should briefly discuss their answers, determining whether they feel 'universal' values exist that everyone should follow.

Then, they should complete step 4 before using the reverse side of Worksheet 9b (diamond nine formation) to complete step 5, prioritising their values. Finally, they should write out their top three values, being careful to articulate them in the present tense, e.g.: 'I am a kind, considerate friend', instead of 'I want to be a kind, considerate friend'.

ASK:

What do you value above all else?

Invite students to share their values and what these mean to them.

EXPLAIN:

Living to our values is not always easy. It means that we might sometimes have to accept living with discomfort to take a more difficult path. We often hear the phrase 'getting out of our comfort zone', which means doing things we may not immediately want to, but which bring gains in the long-term.

It's also important not to be too self-critical when we occasionally don't quite live up to our values. After all, our brain is hard-wired for survival, not self-actualisation and therefore, it's easy for 'self-sabotage' to quickly become a habit.

Next time we'll look specifically at things that help us to live in alignment with our values.

Take a few minutes to note your reflections from today's session.

SHOW: Slide 5

We are going to add a few notes into our Reflection Journals, remembering the 5Fs.

Prompt with the following questions:

Facts — What happened? What did I experience?

Feelings — What impacted me, and how did I feel?

Findings — What truths/assumptions did I have about the session/myself/the process? What can I learn?

Future — How would I like to apply my insights in the future?

Friends — Share reflections, learnings and actions with others

Now, thinking specifically about today's session, think about the values of the person you chose as important and note your answers to the following questions:

• How could you be more like them?

• How would this make you feel?

Allow students five minutes to think about and write down their reflections from today's session.

For further reflection about values, encourage students to add and complete some of the following statements to their reflection journals:

• I need this because...

• Even when I want to give up, I keep going because...

• Life without alignment to my values is...

• I'm going to do this because...

• If I don't do this, it may impact me in these ways...

• Living my values feels like...

Note: encourage students to take responsibility for what they share. Some things they will likely want to keep to themselves as 'personal reflection'.